Chika la Vapidique - Cooking, Cinema, Randomness, everything but the hair dryer.

So the track I go running at has a tall (about 6'" or so) fence surrounding the field.  There are no convenient exits, rather you have to go all the way around... Unless you, say, hop the fence... and recently I have decided I need to cut down the amount of time it takes me to scale and hop a fence..

So, I'm on my way up the fence and I attract the attention of a passer by... An older gent, with clear blue eyes.

Passerby: "Did you drop something on the other side, or do you just need to get around?"
Me: "Just need to get to the other side."
Passerby: "Do you need a hand?"
Me: "I think I'm ok, I need to cut down my fence hopping time. Thanks, though!"
Passerby: "Ok.. Well I'm going to stand here and just make sure you get down ok."

So, he waited, I jumped.  He put his hands out in case I needed to be braced.

Passerby: "Are you training for an event, or something?"
Me: "Yeah, Life." 

We chatted some as we walked up to the gate, he was going to the library to pass time before a meeting.. He said he thought I was going to do just fine. 

I do enjoy this period in the time that follows Firefly.  I become this person who seems much more receptive to the other people I share this space with.  People smile at me, I smile at them.  We acknowledge one another in a positive manner..  I even get smiles and nods from people driving by in their cars, or sitting in front of coffee shops as I bike past.

On the actual subject of Firefly.  I don't know how much I have to say... It was a very interesting experience, much more positive, very cuddly... Very different from last year for oh so many reasons, and the next one is already too far away.  Though it seems like a friend is going to give me his Burning Man ticket.. Which leaves me interested... I feel like if I am given a ticket, I am not allowed to buy my way there (of course, I was largely gifted with my way last year as well). All the more reason to keep up the tradition, ya?

So understandably I am kind of lost.. Oh right so haven't updated the LJ on my life. So the school I was in for massage therapy closed halfway through my program.
No refund, the credits are not really transferrable, and there are practically no other schools in the area anyway (certainly ones I can afford what with the closing).

So.. yes.. lost, just a lil'.

This looks rather intriguing...

PsyOps specialist

It actually sounds pretty good for me, too... There are a few others of curiosity..

Civil Affairs Specialist

If I do go into public policy, that wouldn't be a bad foot in the door...

Public Affairs Specialist

Probably not for the aspie in me, but interesting, and hey... does sound fun.

Human Intelligence Collector

...Oh I am so curious about that one even though it sounds so shady!

Lastly.. Cryptolinguist... That one is pretty cool, in that one of your three years of service is spent in Monteray California for six to eighteen months becoming proficient in a foreign language. Downside, you don't get to choose the foreign language.

Big downside of Army, besides the obvious (me getting yelled at lots and following directions without oppertunity to question/get more explanation), you don't get to choose your location. You get to pick a list of six US locations and four international locations. You will be guarenteed a spot at one of these places, but that is about as good as it gets. However, the pay is pretty good and having a BA I qualify for the officer track, with even better pay.

Right now I am romanticizing surrendering to the powerless drift and pull of life, so that actually seems like it could be a good thing. In reality I'll probably feel horribly isolated socially wherever I end up (unless I score the jackpot and get to be located at the Seattle base), but be working too hard, feel challenged, etc. to notice.

Anyway... I am going to think about it... Go in for a consult/review soon, more likely than not... See what my options are, and then _really_ think about it...

In the meantime, a glimpse of a little of what I was up to this weekend...

Zombie march pic...

And urban ex pic (a photographer wanted to shoot me, I said take me somewhere good, he did)

bout damn time!  I have barely cut it at all since I shaved it off almost 13 months ago!

/fidget

/twitch




Peeps, feel free to tell me if my back is messed up when you see me. I sorta did it my self in like 10 minutes.

I feel like my emotions have become so seperate from one another, or at least my humor is its own category.

I was talking with Yoshi earlier, and let it be known that if I continued to talk about a subject I would start to cry.  He said he didn't want me to be sad. I told him that talking about it wouldn't _make_ me sad, the sadness was there should I talk about the item or not.  Indeed, tapping into it and releasing it could be a good thing.  So indeed, talking about it was ok.. and I began to cry... and then something was in my eye, and I began to laugh... because, really, something was in my eye.. What was better (by that I meant more funny), was that the something could have been nigari (magnesium chloride, re: a salt), or capaicin from the chili-mango sorbet I made earlier.

That laughter was good, and became increasingly hearty. Yoshi said he recognized it, but wouldn't give a straight answer on what he recognized it as.  I think it was the sort of "giving up" laughter, to the best of my interpretation.

Curious.

I have my suspicions.
Meanwhile, I was recently told "If you were a guy I would so drag you into bed and have my way with you right now," twice by the same person in twelve hours.
I have actually been told that (or some variation) before... though I think this was the first time it was from a woman.

Ah so Pillow Fight Day was not bad. Sadly none of my friends showed up, though I saw a fair number of people I recognized.  Did not stick around for Human Dominos, but had a good day regardless.

Caught this photo of me in the pool.  I look so proud!  And possibly in need of a hair cut..  What amazes me is that apparently my hair is exactly the same as last years!  That is impressive given it has been shaved, dyed, etc. Yargh. What am I going to do with my hair, now?  Letting it grow out a bit longer is the tempting plan, but argh that is sooo slow!

In the meantime, here is a cute time waster I was pointed to.  Sources tell me that the more old-jew you are, the funnier they are.

I feel like this is becoming more of a postit pad of things to write about in greater detail..

Anyway... the musing items being leading a charmed life as a matter of perception ...

...

...

At least that is what I was going to write... I typed that line, and saw a friend on-line who I had a question for...

... So a bit of back-story... I have been in the stages of organizing free/donation based yoga in Cambridge come more clime weather.  I have leaders lined up, I know a perfect location, etc.  I want to be serious about it, so wanted to set up a name/website... and the two should generlaly be the same.  MassYoga was a fantastic name (the masses, Massachusettes, etc). However, massyoga.com has been parked. Mass-yoga.com was free, as was massyoga.net, but anything beyond a straight up .com is to be avoided.  UUYoga.com was free, had nice alliteration, UU could be anything (though implied Unspecified Universe, or U like you), and is pretty good for design purposes, but just didn't click like massyoga.

I also wanted to abstain from Sanskrit/Pali (IE Prana, Dharma, Yomi, et al). I felt it tired.  So anyway... Back to my friend on-line...

I asked him about the names UUYoga and MassYoga, or if he could come up with another one.

He suggested Dana Yoga.  I immediately bit my lip and asked him "Why Dana?"
"Dana means generosity/charity."
"Dana park is where I was going to hold the summer sessions."

Danayoga.com was also unoccupied.  The operative term is was ;)

So I ran it by Q, who wants to collaborate with me (the one who came up with massyoga). He was down with it. Dana yoga is now ours! He also is on the same line I am, which is using this as part of a greater non-profit organization in the future.  His personal passion is leading/teaching yoga in prisons and halfway house.

While talking with Q about this, I complained about how none of the donation based yoga studio had gotten back to me, which was disconcerting as I really wanted to discuss their models.  Minutes later I get an email back from one asking if 4/10 works for me (to talk about the donation based model).  Then I had to pause the convo, as I got a call to let me know that the massage therapy program I am in DOES qualify for a scholarship I was considering applying to.

mmmmmmmmmmyeaaaaah. Sweetness.

In other news, I plan on having my heart broken next week... so I can patch it up and move on.  I also may end up somewhere uncomfortable tomorrow night, in the name of curiosity cessation.... Ah EEC....

For the past week some viruses have been holding a mad open door kegger in my body... The Cold frat invited over the conjunctivitis sorority.  many broken lamps, dents in the walls, and a few fallen stair rails later... I think there are only a few stragglers leftover... and even they're getting the idea that it is time to go...  Now I get to clean up. Yugh.

The very first email in my Yahoo! mailbox is dated on 10/16/2001.  It is from "my big muschy sac of knowledge."  The subject is "a monster singing through the side of a left eye."

He called him self Scythe, his name was followed by "Scythe, the Kung-Fu Catholic Wiccan Techno-Goth-Punk Rock n Roll Gutter Angel Sociopath with a Superhero Complex."

Actually I am not telling the truth, entirely.  There is another mail in my box, dated 9/11/2001, from 2:29 AM. "Supersize it today !," its subject declares. The sender, Joyce Barnett, announces in the body that "I've got a 12 inch." A link follows, to a now-defunct geocities site. The name attached to my receiving email address is "turk hair," the mail was also sent to "blame tuscan," who could be contacted at not_too_tightly_screwed@yahoo.com.  I do not remember receiving that email that day.  I do remember being woken up by a phone call from my mother telling me World War III had begun, and the weather being balmy beyond belief...

I get out at Sullivan Square station (alliteration!) and find the bus I need to take to get to Powderhouse Circle. I wait, listening to radio-play interpretation of Huxley's Brave New World. In my ears, Lenina was shrilly crying about the self-flagellation she was observing the savages perform. I am standing, waiting, waiting, standing. I check the bus schedule to find out that I missed the last bus eighty-nine by minutes, and they were on an hourly schedule. So I stand there, waiting. Lenina is appalled by the uninterrupted human aging process, Lenina is appalled by everything.

The Shrafft's clock tower stands out bright against the dark, starless sky. The pink glowing letters beg attention, against the empty sky. I survey the industrial scene below which has its charms, but also looks so very flat on this relatively balmy cusp-of-spring night.

I know the first time I was here. October 4^th, 2008, around seven P.M.. I had just moved to Cambridge for school a few weeks before. My then-boyfriend was visiting me for the first time, over Columbus Day weekend. He and I were going to go to Chau Chau City in Boston's Chinatown for Dim Sum. I had head marvelous things about it, I did not hear that Dim Sum is only served during the afternoon. Some how we ended up by the landmark clock tower. I had no idea that this landmark meant we were not even in Boston.

We pulled over at a bus stop 'neath the tower to see if the map could give us any help, when paired with the directions I jotted down. We made do with what we could, which was little; me being new to the area and his city-boy-self not having much use for cars. Still, we had as much confidence as we were going to get, and we go back to my car. It wouldn't start. We hailed people over for a jump, what else could it be? There was little luck. In a nearby warehouse I could see pulsing, colorful lights emitting from the floor second to the top. I wanted to be explore, but I couldn't find a thread... and my car was dead, pulled over in a bus stop. No one stopped and I try to start my car again, surprisingly, it worked. I was so impressed how the then-boyfriend didn't seen that bothered by my car dying, by the change of plans. I appreciated that he didn't snap at me, or get moody and take it out on me. I thought it was the most wonderful thing that he didn't demand I some how fix the situation and argue with me until I was sitting on the curb, crying.

The car was running. We have a vague idea of how to get to Chinatown. We did end up there, eventually. Chau Chau City was easy to find, but dim sum was over... like 8 hours ago. We walked around looking for another place to eat, and settle on some place of no particular note. There were two dishes that looked like they appealed to my vegetarian inclinations, the made-for-tourists Buddha's Delight, and the greens with wood ear mushrooms. I asked the waiter about the latter, to which he sharply responded “You wouldn't like that.” I ask about it again, “very bitter” is all he says. I wished my Mandarin was good enough to say “Fuck your ancestors to the 18^th generation,” or at least “Don't be so rude,” but it wasn't. Not that I would have, but but but.

I think that weekend was the last time I saw that boyfriend. We broke up weeks later. I was not impressed by his refusal to ask me how I am doing, or what was going on in my life. “If you have something important, I don't see why you can't just tell me,” was his reasoning. We exchanged a few emails about the exchange of stuff. I figured it wouldn't be a huge deal, that we would be cordial and friendly after some time passed, and I would see him next time I was in the city. Sadly, it appears that my collection of the Sandman will never be whole again.

And prepare for just another day, under attack, in Suburban America.


Sometimes I wonder if it is all worth it, and then I remember that the future of consumer fashion depends on having something to strive for.

Ahaha I finally updated my food blog, lets hope I keep it up!

http://extravegance.blogspot.com/

<3

Oh and life has been interesting, and memorable, and literate and oomg I think I am getting an ADD drug tomorrow! So excited.  Seriously, I have bad ADD :(.  It is official. I can sit and read the same page over and over again in a text book for about 2 hours, and not retain anything :(.  A friend on Concerta reported that exact same problem.

I should write some sprawling "Last time you checked up on me..." It has mostly been moving into a new place, attending school for massage therapy, having thoroughly interesting relationships (I just ended things with one of the married men last night and argh it was like an argument... which I didn't want it to be. I wanted it to be like "These are why I don't want to continue our relationship any more. I've already decided it, I don't think these are things any partner would want.. and you clearly want to date someone in addition to your wife.")  But he kept saying the details to explain the items of my discontent except it didn't begin to cover the scope of my upset. Feh.

Heaven is just the gateway, when spoken in a foreign tongue.

Chortling wafts out of my mental storage units, like the hyperbole-moths that indicate just how long a drawer has been empty for.  

And notes for the future...

So recently I watched the thoroughly enjoyable Slumdog Millionaire,

The cut face/kissing the scratch
The girls face in Burma vs. what I saw

The first six (6) people to respond to this post will get something made by me. It will be about or tailored to those six who respond first.

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:
⇒ I make no guarantees that you will like what I make.
⇒ What I create will be just for you.
⇒ It'll be done this year.
⇒ You have no clue what it's going to be. It may be a mix CD. It may be a story. I may build something. I might bake you something and mail it to you. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure!
⇒ I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

The catch? Oh, the catch is that you have to put this in your journal as well, if you expect me to do something for you!

I want to write an article with that name, one day.  Maybe I'll write more about it soon. Today should be interesting. Meeting an acquaintance for lunch. Then partaking in No Pants day. Then I think I'm going make dinner with a friend (or friends), then live music in JP.

Till then, while waiting to go snag burritos... A meme! 

Here goes:

You are walking in the forest, who is there with you?
Myself.

You come across an animal, what is it?
A velicoraptor.. or deer.

What happens next between you and the animal?
If the former, we exchange some formalities. The raptor speaks in a British-Indian male accent, with much rhetoric. The deer just looks at me. I look back. It starts to wander off, I continue on my own way.

You walk further and come across your absolutely ideal home, what does it look like?
Today it is something inspired by Wright's "Falling Waters" "work with the environment" style, but updated a bit.

What type of fence is around it?
No fence. Perhaps some terraces for climbing plants.

You walk inside and there is a table, what is on /around the table?
A few books, including literature, cooking, and social justice non-fiction. My purse, some produce.

You walk into the backyard and find a cup on the ground, what is it made of?
Clay with artfully cracked glaze.

What do you do with it?
I pick it up, examine it with multiple senses. Carry it with me, for now.

In the backyard there is some form of water, what is it?
A river with a bit of a swimming hole.

How do you get to the other side?
Walk up or down to a smaller/shallower section and cross

The key can be found neath the cut.


( Read more... )

At a glance, I don't think this was made for very unconvetional introspective/reflective types.   Ooh I just got a msg from salmonbot!
http://blinovitch.livejournal.com/335310.html

I don't even know how to begin to describe today (besides, uhm "good", I think?)

My ass  got kissed, twice.. by two different people, in two very different circumstances.  I seem to have ended up dating 3 people. What?!  No, those don't overlap with the ass-kissers... yet.  I was in a car that got rear ended, now the driver is getting his deep-tissue massage therapist friend to work on me.  I am going to get free one-on-one brazilian jiu jitsu training.  Someone is extremely certain they know someone who wants a healthy foods chef and is going to connect me.  I finally got to walk around Mt. Auburn cemetary.  I some how ended up with a lot of delicious middle eastern food.  The Romanian has been released. I need to find new housing, and the places showing up seem to be promising... and I have some friends who are willing to set me up if I need to.  Still, moving will suck.  There were other kind of fantastic things as well, but I wont share them here for two reasons.. It is more fun to babble about them in person, and well... like some of the things listed above.. we will see what actually really continues to exist.

I then ended the day with a midnight showing of Repo: The Genetic Opera. with a missed friend I had not seen in all too long. I don't know if he has a nick name yet. I suppose "Z" will work quite well.  Anyway... As for the musical...  The music was not fantastic, nor was the story. The comic opening was well done.  Wasn't horrible. Zydrate Academy is kind of catchy.  The Graverobber was there in person (and took a pic of me + my posse), and it is amazing how much more attractive he is in the get up... Not to say he was bad looking, but the Graverobber is pretty hot.

So, I was driving back from Wilton CT (re: Nowhere) last night... and I turned to a radio station that played the Knife's "Marble House." Besides suddenly making me wish I had taken up the most recent opportunity to get laid, I realized that I really like that song, I was pleasantly shocked.  I hoped that David Bowie's Modern Love would spontaneously come onto the radio next.  It did not. But I have since listened to it, gladly. I am not in love with it, but it is deeply appealing.  I looked up the lyrics to it, and can't say I thought too much.

All of this ended with me on Bloc Party's Modern Love. Bowie beats it for pop sensibilities.  Bloc Party gets points for lyrical fragments that appeal on some simple pleasure emo appeal level.

I like "Marble House" much better than either, in both categories. Admittedly, it isn't quite as good for a party (besides those biweekly goth-alt-poly orgy I seem to keep throwing).  I read the lyrics and they amuse and appeal to me right now /emo. 

While writing this, my lastfm station has played me Fischer Spooner's "Get Confused," not my fave of theirs... now playing Fiona Apple's "Oh Well." Good stuff.

<3 music.

Stalk my radio, and maybe I'll stalk yours.

(oooh, mum just came up)

Finally got to Museum Of Bad Art, in Dedham.  Interesting place. Not quite worth the trip on its own merit, but would be a good arbitrary destination for an awesome bike ride in warmer weather... or maybe an addition to a lovely dive restaurant in Roxbury.  I don't know if a lot of the art there was fantastically bad.  To me, really wonderful bad art is something executed with technical mastery and the content leaves you with "What the hell were they even thinking?"  plinking around your noggin'.  IE the claw that was morphing into a  tennis shoe...  or the Mariachi in Tiannamen square.

BTW, cool article in the NYtimes about how there is little evidence to support vitamins being beneficial, but could even be damaging.

Warning: I kept this a little fairly terse, but it could likely be more terse.

Had an uncomfortable dream last night.  Good way towake up. In the real world, I had a talk with the ex yesterday morning that was supposed to set bones right, for proper healing.  It ended up leaving me with more questions and worse.  I wont go into any details beyond the following, as this one leaves me wondering... 

Our relationship was not much enjoyed in the weeks before we broke up. We were spending lots of time together, but I was not particularly happy because it wasn't very quality-like. He wasn't really present or happy to be with me, we weren't really doing self-enriching activities.. just spending the night at my place or his.  He wasn't particularly happy because, well, he never really ever voiced why he wasn't particularly happy.  I finally confronted him that he didn't really seem to want me around all the time (emphasizing it was fine if that was the case).  He confirmed my suspicions. I communicate that that was perfectly cool, but he had to tell me. He answered "I"m not going to say 'Mary, I'd rather play video games than hang out with you tonight'."  I told him that was exactly what he had to do and there was nothing wrong with it, why couldn't he?  Two days later he breaks up with me.  One of the listed items was he didn't really like how I wanted him to be critical of me, which was actually more about him asserting his own wants even if he didn't think they were what I wanted.

So, this is what is sticking out... At one point I said he was the worst of the cliche of woman and the cliche of man.  To explain...  Like the cliche of women; he wanted me to be a mind-reader who intuited what he wanted even though he didn't want to say it.  Like the cliche of men; he just assumed, or chose non-action, "Well, what works in normal relationships doesn't work on you," is something he said often, so he wouldn't try anything.

Anyway, just that statement clearly hurt him. I immediately felt bad, took his hand, or rubbed his arm...or something.  Yet, in retrospect... I... Don't even know... Well, of course I do. I dislike seeing pain or discomfort, I dislike causing it.  But in the grander scheme, I have such a hard time imagining why I would have sympathy for the choices someone else made, especially when given the tools to work to fix them if they were interested.  I felt bad I hurt someone who just told me that they took me up as a short term fling, and while admitted they were "at least equal in cultivating a sense that it would be something longer", wasn't particularly apologetic... no less lucidly, about how that wasn't a nice thing to do.  He accepted my own categorization of that as a "dick" thing, and little else.  And that is what amazes me, the actions of his own I heard, and were mine to bear... Matched with his inability to hear my reflections of his own actions.

So yeah... The night before we met I typed to him "I suspect I am a little annoyed that you brought more baggage into the relationship that you let on.. and weren't particularly considerate about the effects of its spillover on me. And yeah, I'm not psyched about that or lack of an apology. and I feel some sort of positive interaction would counter balance that. [I consider] how healthy it could be for -me- to hear what problems you feel you brought in, how they manifested, and then yes.. apologize.. both so I don't feel on any level that it 'was me,' and I know what to avoid in the future."

He seemed to understand,  We set a meeting the next day.  Except after playing catch up for a few minutes, and I say lets get to the point, he said he really has no idea what this meeting is for.

So yes, I wanted to put things down to move on.  Now I am left with more questions and uncertainty, with my self as much as anyone else.

Lovely, really.  It will pass, but I...would rather it was already gone. I dislike uncertainty.  Maybe I will write more in detail about this later. Maybe not.  Saying I will write about it later is a guaranteed way to get me to not.

On the good note, vegan readers, http://extravegance.blogspot.com/ is updated! :D More updates coming soon, 4rlz!

On the "going on in my life" good note, an acquaintance-friend of mine turned down an offer to come along to a group activity tonight because he had to have a "serious talk" with his girlfriend.  I didn't press for details, thankfully he offered them. He said it was a conversation that would likely end in him being single on Friday.  He said they talked great, but it increasingly seemed like "square peg, round peg."  We talked about it a bit more, and to say something weird... It was that that gave me more energy that day.  A newly single friend also was warmed by the sentiment, when I told him about it.

Funny the things that bring you comfort.

Huh,  I feel much better now than I did at start of this.

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